i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
