i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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