Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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