So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
