i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
