I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
