You smell like a Billy Joel song
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
