Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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