K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
