Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
should my penis look like a turkey
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
