in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
