STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
