our cab driver is having phone sex.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
