I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
