I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
