Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
