It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
