Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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