Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
