I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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