i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
