Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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