I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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