all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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