What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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