none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
