I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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