watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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