Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
