careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
