I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
