then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
