your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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