I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
