I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
