i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
