What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
