I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
