Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
