if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
