Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
