Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
