My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
MIDGETS
????
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
