plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Randomize