Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
