so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
