I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The adults are the big ones right?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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