Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
