Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
