my sisters under your porch take her home
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
