He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
