I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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